Helping Children Lose in a Healthy Way

11:28 AM, Sep 25, 2013   |    comments
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A. Losing is hard for everyone but especially children. Competition is all or nothing, completely egocentric, and life or death feeling of their self worth and goals.
B. Hard to see your child lose or fail. Want them to win too.
C. Help them. Be their inner voice. The cliché it's only a game will sound flat to them. Empathy and self-talk that we find helpful they too will find helpful. There can only be one winner so many other losers. We can let others win. Learn from past mistakes. Try your best. Failure is only bad if we don't get back up again and learn from it and try hard again.
D. Teach to handle winning better will help losing. Not such a major deal on being the winner. Team player, skills learned, the experience. If I am a super star when win I may be a super loser when I lose.
E. Teach to focus on the positives and gratitude in the experience. Your team may not have won but you got to...or you did really well with that basket or goal or aspect of your project
F. Share when you have lost and gained from it
G. Failure Lab done in GR theater for adults but applies to kids too
H. We learn a ton through our failures and kids do too: Model this for them
I. Focus on character development and tenacity rather than being a winner.

The Clark Institute: Private Practice Psychotherapy
for Children, Adolescents, and Adults
Human Resource Associates
Matthew Clark, Psy.D.
(616) 458-0692



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