Redskins QB and Holland native Kirk Cousins shows off his new haircut during a press conference Wednesday. (Photo: @Rich_Campbell)
(USA TODAY) - When someone shows up with an unannounced buzz cut, there are three possible explanations: head lice, enlistment or paparazzi frustration. Since Kirk Cousins isn't in elementary school, won't be joining the Army any time soon and isn't even the most famous rookie quarterback on his team, there had to be a good explanation when he showed up to Redskins Park on Wednesday with the curious new hairstyle.
Was there ever.
The Redskins rookie, who has won two games in relief of fellow rookie Robert Griffin III, told reporters he went into a locally-owned barbershop for a routine haircut and somehow ended up with a Mohawk. He explains:
"The lady who cut my hair wasn't speaking English all that clearly, there was a communication breakdown, and she basically gave me a Mohawk. I had my glasses on. She took them off to cut my hair. I couldn't stop her, obviously because I couldn't see. She wheels me back around, I look in the mirror -- realize I have a Mohawk -- and I tell her, 'Just shave it off.' I don't know what to tell you. So she just buzzed it off and I gotta live with this for the next couple of weeks until it grows back, but I do want to apologize to my family and friends back home. I try to represent them well, but this haircut isn't doing it."
Aside from ruining family Christmas photos, there was another downside to Cousins' new 'do.
"The tough thing was, until that moment, I didn't realize I have a receding hairline," he said. "My dad is more or less completely bald and I was hoping I wasn't going to get his genes."
This caused immediate worry among the more high-strung Redskins fans, who feared Cousins could react to the news by going into a depressive spiral like Elaine's boyfriend from the Little Jerry episode of Seinfeld and show up to Sunday's game wearing a jersey with a day-old meatball stain.
Rest assured, Cousins seemed to be taking the haircut, and the sign of premature aging, in stride.
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